Modern Living Gifts

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk

'But dad, no one goes round hunting and gathering anymore. It's just so . . . paleolithic!'

"I have to take it back to the shop and throw it away."

The Rat Race

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"This isn't tap water, is it?"

Sitting around the warm glow of the TV.

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

Computerized House

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

'It's simple. All PayPal needs is an e-mail address.'

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"The sad part is they're talking to each other."

Minimalist Apartment rejects old furniture.

The damage from wearing headphones.

"I sent you a mother's day e-card, mom, did you get it?"

"This is it, Slim. I'm putting you on the next off-peak train outta here."

My First Visit to the Laundromat

'It's my mobile home.'

Screen Addiction

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'Increasing resistance.'

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'

Oh, I'm still planning to run away from home, but I'm waiting until we get a self-driving car to take me

Technology and human relations

'Why do you want a chimney sweep anyway? You're all electric...'

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

Modrn kangaroo pouches have indoor plumbing: 'Flush!'

Man watching sheep on laptop.

"Everybody seems to be in such a hurry these days!"

'What do you still pay for a landline phone when you both have a cell phone?!'