Modern Living Gifts

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk

'But dad, no one goes round hunting and gathering anymore. It's just so . . . paleolithic!'

"I have to take it back to the shop and throw it away."

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"This isn't tap water, is it?"

The Rat Race

Sitting around the warm glow of the TV.

Computerized House

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

My First Visit to the Laundromat

"This is it, Slim. I'm putting you on the next off-peak train outta here."

"I sent you a mother's day e-card, mom, did you get it?"

'It's simple. All PayPal needs is an e-mail address.'

The damage from wearing headphones.

"The sad part is they're talking to each other."

Minimalist Apartment rejects old furniture.

"I know, I know. I already got your text, your email, and that robocall on the home phone."

WiFi Connection

"It's wonderful how there are so many more devices to fall asleep in front of these days."

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

Technology and human relations

'Clark, lately you seem distant, distracted...you've got that Google Glasses look in your eye.'

Oh, I'm still planning to run away from home, but I'm waiting until we get a self-driving car to take me

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

"She would've been more credible if she hadn't kept saying, 'according to your Wikipedia page'."

'Increasing resistance.'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Screen Addiction

'It's my mobile home.'