Modern Lifestyle Buff Pillows

"Help you swipe your credit card, Ma'am?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Fur Baby

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"You are still here."

i-teddy

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

Goodnight Social Media.

The Eternal Question

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Astronaut Selfie.

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'Why can't we just go to school.org?'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."