Modern Kitchen Chef T-Shirts

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Too much cilantro

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Party time.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Salt and Pepper

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

The Perfect Foil

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Entertainment systems

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"