Modern Grumpy Musings Gifts

Mobile phones and driving

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Grumpy old merry men.

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Old Man Journal

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Grumpy Old Men

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Self-help books for cynics'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"It's Monday."

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

*Chirrup* - 'Ah, the dawn chorus. Nature's gentle awakening.' - *Chirrup* - 'Gah! Let me sleep, vermin!'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'