Modern Ghouls Gifts

"Trick or Treat! Due to Covid-19 we now accept contactless payments..."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

"Lately, I've thinking about getting a motorcycle ... "

"My business is less bricks and mortar and more coffee shops and laptops. I sell NFTs."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"Texting hexes is such a time saver!"

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

Wiccapedia.

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

'Can I sleep over in the real world? Please, please, please, please.'

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

"Blood bank robbery...you?"

'Sorry, I'm not disturbing you, am I?' (Man has tattoos, piercings, Satan on forehead)

"I'm hexting."

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate

'Do you have it in black?'

Witch Online

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

Early Goths.

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

"Is there a vegan substitute for eye of newt?"