Ghoul Friend Gifts

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Zombie standup

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Halloween Selfie

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"Getting old stinks! Today I tripped over my nose hair!"

Goblin.

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'Sorry, I'm not disturbing you, am I?' (Man has tattoos, piercings, Satan on forehead)

Man obsessed with football sees womanly shape as footballs

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

'Can I sleep over in the real world? Please, please, please, please.'

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

"To be honest, we're scared you might scare the living daylights out of the ghosts."

'Can we have a starter for ten, please?'

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

Early Goths.

The Terror Of Folkenstein

"Just because you don't die doesn't mean your phone battery doesn't. You actually have to charge it."

"You think you're so cool with your stretched ears, but I can see through you."

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

"So what are we doing now, Smiley?"

Rectoplasm

'Oh, come on. We just need one more body. Please die.'

Buttons on air conditioning that read 'cool', 'cooler' and 'totally cool'.

'Oh, sorry Dad!'