Ghoul Friend Pillows

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Zombie standup

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Halloween Selfie

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

Goblin.

"Getting old stinks! Today I tripped over my nose hair!"

"Blood bank robbery...you?"

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

Man obsessed with football sees womanly shape as footballs

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

'Can I sleep over in the real world? Please, please, please, please.'

'Sorry, I'm not disturbing you, am I?' (Man has tattoos, piercings, Satan on forehead)

'Do you have it in black?'

Early Goths.

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"To be honest, we're scared you might scare the living daylights out of the ghosts."

The Terror Of Folkenstein

'Can we have a starter for ten, please?'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

"You think you're so cool with your stretched ears, but I can see through you."

"You've got too much iron in your diet."

Rectoplasm

'Oh, come on. We just need one more body. Please die.'

"So what are we doing now, Smiley?"

"Just because you don't die doesn't mean your phone battery doesn't. You actually have to charge it."

Buttons on air conditioning that read 'cool', 'cooler' and 'totally cool'.