Ghoul Enthusiast Pillows

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Horror Stories

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

He looks so natural lying there...

"He's gone goth"

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

Vincent Van Goth.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"You put it on backward, dear."

The Depressing Economic Crisis

Haunted museum

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.