Modern Fears Analyst Gifts

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Crap from the future.

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Modern Life Blues

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Was it the beaver dream again?'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

"Very funny."

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"He looks so natural."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

After hours TV.

"Luckily, our retirement funds are entirely in double lattes."

"We have very little need these days to employ a cudgel."

"Pop-up prison."

Vending machine offers tea and sympathy

"My name is Pennywise. My preferred pronoun is 'It.'"

Saint Walking On Polluted Water

"Lighten up, pal, it's only a spider!"

"Can you describe these countless wasted hours that ultimately make up the bulk of your life?"

Society - then and now.

They say there's more people sharing the experience of living alone.

'Unleash the drones!'