Modern Family Connector Pillows

"Mom, Dad, this is Ryan. From now he'll be managing all of my emoji and GIF responses in your ridiculously long family text message threads."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Networking

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Best Places to Retire

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"You won't believe it - your granddaughter's grown a foot since you last saw her!"

'Get a new hair-do, join a health club, call your mother...'

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

Coronovirus dreams

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

Grandma is texting her grandchildren.

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"This has been fun, Dad, but I need to spend more quality time with my smartphone."

"Yes, we're very fortunate to be blessed with one of each."

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

'Hello! Don't I know you from the internet?'

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"What?! Your mum wasn't there when you came out of your shell! Oh darling, you can't go through life without a mummy: I'll adopt you..."

'Believe me, Luci, it's hard being a boss! You want to be everyone's friend...but you can't...I wonder what you'll be when you grow up...'

Bubbies and technology

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

'Mom, Kevin just asked me to live with him!'

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

"Can you hold that thought until I consult my new 'Excuses For Mom' app?"