Modern Family Advocate Gifts

"How is it gendered?"

'... and they got a divorce and, due to a good prenup, they lived happily ever after.'

'I have several other fathers, you know.'

"It's time to talk about the birds and bees? Sure dad, what do you want to know?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

'Look, dear. Our printer's first words.'

"My daughter is a modern baby. She doesn't cry when she is hungry...she texts me."

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

'But dad, no one goes round hunting and gathering anymore. It's just so . . . paleolithic!'

"It's the old man's idea. Reckons his young executives should see more of their families."

'It's a grueling job that requires a strong commitment and personal sacrifice. Is your mother available?'

'In my day we called it 'parenting', not 'troubleshooting your kid'.'

"Let's review cause and effect. Your divorce 10 years ago can't affect your son's zero today."

'Yup! Lots to give, not much to lose!'

"I now pronounce you...significant others!"

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

"This may surprise you, Worthington, but I'm a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family."

"You just wait until your other mother gets home, young man!"

'Go ask your other mother.'