Modern-day Misinformer Pillows

Frankly, I'm surprised your newsagent let you go so far behind.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

Free speech isn't cheap!

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"I meant the dog!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Rumours Online

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Anti-Vaxxers

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Covid and Twitter

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

Fake news on social media

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."