Modern-day Legend Pillows

"I had to give up my secret identity—no more phone booths."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Knights of the bedside table.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

Unicorn in the Woods

Ted Hughes

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

Europa takes a selfie

"All the better to ignore you with."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Santa Elevator

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

"Ah, sweatpants."

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

'To redeem your wishes, fill out all required fields, including username and password.'

Leon Uris.

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

'I'm told the natives are quite technologically advances here - they worship Mark Zuckerberg.'

'Oh-oh †the Snake's telling Eve about cloning!'

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

"Yeah, I'm the Tooth Fairy. But you're gonna have to take a check."

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

"This is probably the most mature, astute novel of the last half century that I've just finished. Me want ice cream."