Modern Cuisine Gifts

'And we also thank the FDA for this genetically engineered food.'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

Gentrification of the fridge

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Lockdown casserole

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

Prosecco Drinker

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

The Lesser Pyramids

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

Endangered Entrees

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

'They wanted to compliment you on the porridge.'

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'