Modern Baseball Lover Gifts

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

No Baseball

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Sheltering in place.

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Monster Baseball

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"