Modern Art Master Gifts

2Oh, it's okay if you're into neo-romanticist art. Personally, I prefer the soaring perspectives of David Hockney or the controlled frenzy of Gerhard Richter."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"I gotta be me!"

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

'Projectile painting.'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The Selfie

bird interprets modern art

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Picasso: The Early Years

Convenience.

Cats at private view

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Jackson Pollock Studio

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.