Master Of Modern Art Gifts

'I'm not one to brag or anything but take a guess what this thing cost?'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"I gotta be me!"

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'Projectile painting.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The Selfie

bird interprets modern art

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Remember me?'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Cats at private view

Convenience.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Picasso: The Early Years