Modern Art Maven Gifts

'I can't think of a single thing to paint.'

'Brilliant! Iconic 20th century imagery dripping with 21st century sarcasm.'

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Hmmm...I think I know what he's saying here. Sometimes we manage to break through the walls that hold us back, only to find...another wall! Yes! I get it!'

Cleaner sweeping up artwork in gallery.

'This one's titled 'Political Debate' but to me it looks like a lot of balls. . .'

'We bought it as a conversation piece...'

'YES! Should you ask, it is art!'

Handshakes

Abstract figures view Whistler's Arrangement in Grey and Black No.1.

Abstract Expressionism: You'll hate at least one.

"Modern art?"

"I found a way to turn my old report cards into fine art."

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

"It's one of my early works from before I could afford paint."

'There seems to be no end to his talent.'

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

'I'm not sticking around to find out.'

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

"Wow! You mean they got all of this in exchange for just one van Gogh?"

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"Nobody asked me about my process."

"It's meaningless, lady, believe me—I painted it."

"Are you the angry young artist or the angry young bloodsucking dealer?"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Instructional guide to scribbling

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Ninja bread men"