Model Club Members Gifts

'Oh, that type of model.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Model Building

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

World War II Hawker 'HURRICANE'.

Emily Ratajkowski

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

"I want to report a race crime.'

"It's not you. It's pea."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Fair play, Bill always knows when he's had enough.'

"He seems to have done a complete turnaround."

'We are banned from reporting inside that country, so instead our correspondent joins us from the Dog and Duck, just around the corner.'

SAGE (unknown model)

Man sticking matchsticks together for Bryant and May

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

Ok, I know a sarcastic slow clap when I hear one.

Hamlet

Doctor to patient: 'Nah - you don't need to make a hospital appointment. I can do this procedure with a laser pen.'

Ostritch Gangsters.

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

56% of GPs are in favour of charging for appointments.

Pinocchio's pinewood derby car won by a nose.

"Great news Dad, I hit a ball-in-one!"