Model Club Members T-Shirts

'Oh, that type of model.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Model Building

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

World War II Hawker 'HURRICANE'.

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"I want to report a race crime.'

"It's not you. It's pea."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

Hamlet

"He seems to have done a complete turnaround."

'We are banned from reporting inside that country, so instead our correspondent joins us from the Dog and Duck, just around the corner.'

Man sticking matchsticks together for Bryant and May

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

SAGE (unknown model)

Ostritch Gangsters.

Doctor to patient: 'Nah - you don't need to make a hospital appointment. I can do this procedure with a laser pen.'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

56% of GPs are in favour of charging for appointments.

'How did it go at the shrink?'

Orange really is the new Black

"Great news Dad, I hit a ball-in-one!"