Mocktail Master T-Shirts

"Another round of Shirley Temples."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Join me in a Martini?

We'll have Manhattans...

"He's such a fussy eater."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"An everything Martini, please."

Balancing two espresso martinis

A Tit for Tat.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

Bach Doubles

Don't you think you've had too many drinks?

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

Higher milk production

Farmer tacking up signs in Dairy barn.

'I love eating out.'

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

Work/Life Balance.

'Relax! I was just seeing if I could fit it all in if I wanted to.'

'I said a dozen eggs and one pint of milk.'

Moonshine Lite!