Mocking Authority Gifts

'Church Commission Land. No entry. Don't be tempted - someone IS watching!'

Dog walking Human.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'We don't believe your story: a wolf would never attack a sheep.'

"We pay the living dead wage."

Coming to a consensus.

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

Continental marshal

The boss is always right.

A Dummy Corporation.

"Responsibility? Me? Don't be silly. I'm a politician!"

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

Portaloo Tidal Wave.

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

When PJ says no, that's the end of it!

"Ya gotta obey the rules otherwise there's anarchy!"

Campus police are dorm troopers.

Power: 'It's mine and you can't have it.'

'Get on the ground! Hands behind your head! Move! ... OK, anyone else feel like arguing with the ref?'

'No wonder these are bland...they're toys!'

"Freeze!"

'My anti-distraction program isn't very high-tech, but it works.'

'We're here to nudge you into moving south.'

'Honey, why do you always put me int he rear seat of you patrol car when you give me a lift home?'

'I can't prescribe anything for his midlife crisis but I know a high school principal who'll scare him out of it.'

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

"Sire. I fear that we shall have to turn back. He has a hi-vis vest and a road cone."