Mockery Enthusiast Pillows

'Do you think this apeing of the opposition will go down well in the country?'

BNP candidate - 'Can I rely on your not voting?'

'I'd like to apologize if my remarks have offended anybody, or if any remarks I may make in the future ever DO offend anybody.'

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

Two Years into a Trump Presidency...

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

Craft gallery. Fudge Shoppe. Bike rentals. Clear-cut woods for luxury condos. The sure signs that we've arrived! Right. At our wilderness getaway! Almost a lake view. For sale.

"Fenwick, do you see any mistletoe on my coattail?"

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"It's cooties."

"Well, the president of the ethics committee is in jail and his deputy is binge drinking with three prostitutes. Do you want to leave a message?"

Addicted to Oil

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

Ask a Silly Question, Get A Silly Answer

'We're making the package 10% smaller.'

The Prozac Story: 'It's a feel-good movie.'

"It's gutsy and bold, and frankly, I like it. But polls indicate the market isn't quite ready for human sacrifices."

'It's all very well trainees learning in a classroom setting...'

"Thanks for reaching out."

"I think you're taking the Prime Ministers blatant lies out of context."

"All I said was 'Merry Christmas'."

"Everybody's noticed a change in you, Boss... the flowers, your thoughtful acts of kindness, words of encouragement, and all those hush-hush personal phone calls... YOU RASCAL! You're under investigation again, aren't you?"

"By the way...there's a 'kiss my ass' casserole on the counter!"

Vladimir Putin with a Trump/Pence campaign button.

"I can hardly take the suspense."

Britain to host 2004 Olympics

Chet's Upward Mobility Clinic

'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'

Pied piper sheep leads businessmen off the cliff.

"I told you we should have voted for Clinton."