Medieval Mockers Pillows

"Um, O.K., yes, Boardwalk for Connecticut Avenue."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

"Well, the president of the ethics committee is in jail and his deputy is binge drinking with three prostitutes. Do you want to leave a message?"

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

'I just had a beer with Edward the Confessor - talk about too much information!'

Two Years into a Trump Presidency...

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Nice moat."

Do you do cremations?

"I told the King that the Queen is the most important piece on the chess board."

Clean for ye Queen

"He assumed the crown at a very young age."

"I wasn't as trusty a steed as the King expected."

'. . . while the weight of the armour . . .'

Vladimir Putin with a Trump/Pence campaign button.

DESIRE: THE PRODUCT LINE.

'Hmm...needs refining.'

"Reason for return?"

'Ye olde optician.'

'I'd like to apologize if my remarks have offended anybody, or if any remarks I may make in the future ever DO offend anybody.'

Under new management.

Jester wanted. Mimes need not apply.

"I'd like to alter my vows...I want to say 'Til death, or a better prospect comes along, do we part."