Ad-mockery Enthusiast Pillows

'We're making the package 10% smaller.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

F1 - Quit Smoking.

As Seen Watching TV

This Space Available.

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

Eat More Salted Nuts

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

"He's a genius at product placement."

"Well, the president of the ethics committee is in jail and his deputy is binge drinking with three prostitutes. Do you want to leave a message?"

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"I even had commercials in my dream last night."

'With my marketing savvy this place would be gold.'

It's the perfect advertising image of marital bliss. All we need is the disclaimer 'PROFESSIONAL ACTORS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.'

McCooties, Gold, & Jibbs.

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

'We interrupt this program because the sponsor just went out of business!'