Ad-mockery Enthusiast Pillows

'We're making the package 10% smaller.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

As Seen Watching TV

F1 - Quit Smoking.

This Space Available.

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Eat More Salted Nuts

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

"Well, the president of the ethics committee is in jail and his deputy is binge drinking with three prostitutes. Do you want to leave a message?"

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

"He's a genius at product placement."

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

He said his first words today --- "Side effects".

"I even had commercials in my dream last night."

It's the perfect advertising image of marital bliss. All we need is the disclaimer 'PROFESSIONAL ACTORS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.'

'With my marketing savvy this place would be gold.'

'I wanted my new sign to be noticeable.'

McCooties, Gold, & Jibbs.

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

Consumer Trends Straight Outta Kabul