Mochas Gifts

"Spare change please mister, for a Mocha Frappuccino with cinnamon sprinkles?"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Important Muscles.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

Geezer.

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

'Come, Darling! Let us give in to our most primal urges!'

"This is all my own hair."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

Documentation Please

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

A Moosetache.

Toxic Masculinity

How to wear a false moustache.

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

I see relations between Dylan and Daisy are at a all time low!

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

"Tell us about yourself, Pete."

"It's 8 a.m. somewhere."

'Guess what, Squaw? Me finally teach Running Dog to fetch my moccasins.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'