Mobile Wanderer T-Shirts

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Sausages.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

Sport Utility Boot.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"I brought cocoa."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'