Mobile Wanderer Gifts

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Sausages.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

Sport Utility Boot.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"I brought cocoa."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'