Mobile Shop Employee Gifts

"I can offer you an upgrade to our dearer plan with absolutely no benefits to you whatsoever over a two year period!"

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

Printing Room

"Mr. Rod, we know what's happening...you're laying us all off."

"I've never seen such destruction on a phone. What happened?"

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

"My phone has a cracked screen."

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

'I just love the holidays. It's such a happy time of year!'

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

'It's tough finding office space when you're a business on the go.'

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working!'

"I had this weird nightmare. I dreamed I was a muffler! I woke up exhausted."

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

"Does that app drain your battery?"

'Do you cover the deductible?'

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

On strike at the sign shop

"I'm sorry, sir. The manager said, you bought it, tough s**t."

"Can you deliver that to me?"

"You're a lousy grocery store."

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

We just work here, & don't pass hidden costs onto anybody!'

"Busy working—get lost!"

"Please stop messing around with the Feng Shui section..!"

'It all started off trying to save time,now its just to anoy everyone'

"Sorry, no we don't do stationary!"

Shop worker thinks lady asks him if he has hemorrhoids when she asks for Altoids (mints).