Mobile Shop Employee Gifts

"I can offer you an upgrade to our dearer plan with absolutely no benefits to you whatsoever over a two year period!"

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

Printing Room

"I've never seen such destruction on a phone. What happened?"

"Mr. Rod, we know what's happening...you're laying us all off."

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

"My phone has a cracked screen."

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

'I just love the holidays. It's such a happy time of year!'

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working!'

'It's tough finding office space when you're a business on the go.'

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

"I had this weird nightmare. I dreamed I was a muffler! I woke up exhausted."

"Does that app drain your battery?"

'Do you cover the deductible?'

"You're a lousy grocery store."

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

"I'm sorry, sir. The manager said, you bought it, tough s**t."

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

"Can you deliver that to me?"

On strike at the sign shop

"Busy working—get lost!"

We just work here, & don't pass hidden costs onto anybody!'

"Please stop messing around with the Feng Shui section..!"

"He sold appliances."

"Sorry, no we don't do stationary!"

"It must be lovely listening to this festive music all day."

'It all started off trying to save time,now its just to anoy everyone'