Mobile Master Pillows

Valley of Obsolete Cell Phones

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

"But I haven't used up my 500 free hours!"

'They all want to play the star.'

George Michael

Dialogue

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

National Coffee Day

'If I can't do it by iPhone, I don't do it.'

Robbie Williams

Karaoke night.

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"My best friend is my phone."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'