Mobile Communication Critic Pillows

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

I'm Stupid (Damn Autocorrect)

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'I'm on the plain.'

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'I'm getting mixed signals. First the boss tells me that I never really caught fire around here then he tells me that I suffer from burnout.'

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

"After he got his cell phone, I'm only his second-best friend!"

'I am becoming a jerk. Get a memo to all departments.'

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

"Hello? I can't talk right now! I'm on a plane! What?! No! Just leave some food in her dish! What?! I can't talk!"

'Mr Slickovitz will now brief you on corporate creole!'

If the world is getting smaller, how come the postal rates keep going up?

"The killer was calling from inside the house and didn't even bother to text first."

"Do you mind?! I happen to be on the phone!"

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

"He's been told he has to cut down on using meaningless 'management speak'...which is causing him a lot of problems...as it's the only language he knows!"

'Here's the man who created the 'Exploding Email'.'

The Great Communicator.

People Don't Talk to Each Other Anymore!

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