Mob Life Aficionado T-Shirts

"Don't think of me as a crime boss. Think of me as a crime friend."

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"We need rain."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"Paper or plastic?"

Our cover is francophile liberals

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

'Take me to your leader -- I've got an offer he can't refuse!'

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

The Mafia Goes Green.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"I'll have the 'Sammy the bull' …hold the quail eggs."

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You the one they call 'The Farmer'?'

"These self-honking cars make it so much easier to focus on driving."

Mafia Shrinks

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

". . .or, you can juggle a world record 6 balls, 6 rings and one barking bichon and we call it a day."

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

"You understand this was just business."

"The operation was a success. After a few weeks of PT he can return to to a full life of crime."

Roadworks: Your City Thanks You!

"Just out of curiosity, are you with organized crime or are you an independent?"