Mob Film Aficionados Gifts

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"We need rain."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

Our cover is francophile liberals

'Take me to your leader -- I've got an offer he can't refuse!'

"Paper or plastic?"

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

The Mafia Goes Green.

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"I'll have the 'Sammy the bull' …hold the quail eggs."

There's been a misundertanding-we're advertising for GAGSTERS!'

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You the one they call 'The Farmer'?'

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

Organised Crime A.G.M.

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

'Hi. I'm Don.'

". . .or, you can juggle a world record 6 balls, 6 rings and one barking bichon and we call it a day."

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

The Unacceptable Face of Tailoring

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

Mafia Shrinks