Misunderstood Gourmet Gifts

Korean Restaurant - Unwanted Dogs Welcome

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Main Types of Cheese

To do before Saturday...

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

French wine

Too much cilantro

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Is this still America?'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'