Misguided Gourmet Gifts

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

French wine

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

Cheese

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

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