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"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

French wine

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Cheese

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

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'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."