Misunderstood Adult Gifts

'My kids don't understand me.'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Are we broke yet?'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

Peter

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"I thought the 'Internet of Things' was about fridges and toasters!"

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

An ellipsis in the sky

"Mom and Pop-Ups"