Misunderstood Adult Pillows

'My kids don't understand me.'

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'Are we broke yet?'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

Peter

"My guess it's guacamole."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

An ellipsis in the sky

"I thought the 'Internet of Things' was about fridges and toasters!"

"Mom, can you and Dad lend me nine hundred thousand dollars?"