Misstep Analyst Pillows

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

Love at First Sight

"We fell for this last time remember..."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"Study Henderson's career closely. He's made all the mistakes so you don't have to."

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'But how do I know you're really a genetic engineer?'

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"Dad, I made a mistake. A big mistake."

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

". . . and at your age, it wouldn't hurt to go see the blacksmith a little more regularly, too."

Sandwich Fail

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is not a nice thing to say.

"Forgive me Father, I lied on my 'reason for unsubscribing.'"

'Duck.'

"Limits of the Secret Service."

'Can you believe that seven women, that's 83.5% of females in the 21-50 age band who are present, think I'm boring?'

"It's fine if you don't want to talk about the elephant in the room, but could we at least turn down the constant cool jazz."

'Hi, Mr. Back... you asked me to call you...'

'He's left me for good, this time. Says he wants to live life in the fast lane.'

"This is my friend Estella."

Slushies 50 ¢

Deeply absorbed in thought Melvin wanders into the wrong pool.

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'Are you going to hate yourself because of this in the morning?' 'I hate myself already!'

"I know it's a botch up. . . but it is a world class botch up?"

Pie Chart of Attendance