Mission-impossible Fan Gifts

"My name is Cloth - J.Cloth."

Bright idea

"The invention of taxidermy."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Old-fashioned computer

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

Control and Out of Control Group

Lumberjack's Epic Fail

'Thank goodness you're here!'

Tapped Tree

'Boy, seven sneezes in a row, that's a record, Julie'

Jazz Bagpipes

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"Sunshine Mixed with Intermittent Burgers."

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

"Does the radar make my backside look big?"

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

"Over there - an island!"

Owl seeing how many times it can twist it's head around - "...14, 15, 16, there goes the record."

'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

"Okay, hold really still..."

'Oh, good - you brought The Broom of Honesty, Dignity and Self Respect.'

"If I get this phone completed, fire will follow."

'We need someone in here, like now.'

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

That side up.

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'