Missing Persons Investigator T-Shirts

'It's the missing persons officer, sir - he hasn't been seen since last week...!'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

Channelling on the Cheap

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"True crime meets reality TV"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

Ghostship

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

Bribery and Corruption.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"