Crime Investigator T-Shirts

"Interesting business proposal. We'll have to run it by illegal."

"Oh, I do love a mystery."

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Eye witness.

'No I'm sorry madam, this is the celebrity murder squad'.

"Come on, Vinny! We already know you crossed the road. What we want to know is, why?"

The end is nigh.

"Hmmm. . . it's certainly a puzzle."

Detective

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"All right boys, check him for ticks."

'Judging by the dictionary, a book of famous quotations and Roget's Thesaurus, I'm guessing it's a verbal assault that got out of hand.'

The Line-up

'If they kill you we won't get our bonus.'

Cops overlooking an obvious revolving bookcase.

'I could murder a pint!'

'CSI: Basketball.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"Okay buster!! On the ground and arms behind your back!!"

Police body cameras

News of the World: Final edition

"Most drug lords evade capture by making smarter choices with plastic surgery."

"Number three - open your coat."

"I had no choice, sheriff. He drew on me."

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

Post box

"Remember what I said - resist the narrative fallacy."

"It's a Mountie thing...we always get our man."

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"You’re trying to take credit for one of mine."

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

"Police have no suspects at the present time but believe that the motive for robbery was the desire for increased income."