Nightmare Investigator T-Shirts

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Barcode Dreams

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Channelling on the Cheap

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

Ghostship

Complexity Made Simple.

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

Inside the Bermuda Romantic Triangle

A dream of consequence

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'