Missing An Award Pillows

"Missing out at the AWARDS was BIG upset to Jim...but luckily his team has rallied around to repair the damage...to his ego!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Award Winning Gardener

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Soccer coach of the year.

"So that's where you were last night."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

Zdeno Chara

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

'Just to keep everybody on their toes, let's can the employee of the month.'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"