Missed Mark Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm Sorry.'

A watch face with Stonehenge

"I don't like the look of this."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

Bureau of Missing Persons

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

Belated Birthday Cards

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

Directions.

The Statue of Liberty stands up all day long and rests by night.

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Lost dog/Lost Sheep posters

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

"Mittens found it! It was stuck in the sofa."

Rebels without a magic marker

I love Big Ben

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

Mt Rushmore south side viewing platform

"Any idea where I left my reading glasses?"

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

'One more time Huck, I'm gonna have to question your decision to bring the beaver.'

'Your heart's not really in this job, is it?'

'I'm sure the people who live around here will know where we are.'