Miss Collector Gifts

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Packaging Russian Dolls

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early cyborg.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"