Miss Collector Gifts

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Packaging Russian Dolls

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Duck Hunt

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Raincloud Umbrella

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early cyborg.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'Anorak anoraks'.