Creepy Collector Gifts

"You're allowed to keep collecting the teeth, but we're going to call you a fairy to make it sound less terrifying."

Monster Baseball

"You're right - organs do look more festive in these cute mason jars."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Toadstools

Raincloud Umbrella

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Piranhaclaus

Duck Hunt

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Ice shelfie.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Nerdy man wagging his finger.