Creepy Story Collector Gifts

"Well, we found out what's been clogging your chimney since last December, Miss Emmy."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Monster Baseball

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Who's Dead

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"You're right - organs do look more festive in these cute mason jars."

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

'You've become a right pain in the neck.'

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

A Ghost

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

I told you I lost it in the sun.

A frog catches an insect truck.

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

Sea Angel

Two witches argue after crashing into each other

"Gentlemen, this is Mr. Griscom, Super Films' new horror expert."

Staff picks

Home Sweet Home

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

'I've known you a long time and it's time I told you the truth, I'm not really a person, I'm just a suit full of chickens..'

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

Carrie White