Mismatched Metaphor Enthusiasts Gifts

'Do I know about incontinence? No I never was good at Geography.'

Reading my Critics

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

A Poem about Sand

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

The Eclectic Chair

"now let's try one without the tusks."

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

If poets wrote road signs.

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

"I've fallen for you hook, line and really BIG sinker."

"It's the new business model - my ideas have sex with your ideas."

"... And this, gentlemen, is our target for the next six months."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

Executive Coach: Specializing in sports metaphores.

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

"I think you need to reboot your carrot."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"he's out of the woods and resting comfortably in a sunlit glade."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'What's this, Dawkins?another of you 'visual metaphors'?'

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

Metaphors.

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'