Mismatch Intrigue Gifts

"And how would you feel shooting your arrow for a really bad match?"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

Alligator Bars

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'Let's go back to your place. I want to put all your CD's into the wrong cases.'

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

The Origin of Laundry Day

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

"Don't get me wrong, you're a good tiler but maybe you should go back to your old job..."

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"On the internet you said you were tall."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

Anyone for tennis?